Halloween - pics (click to enlarge)

Ramon Green: 1926-2007

R.I.P Grandad Green. You will be missed by the many, many people who loved you dearly.

"to live in the hearts of those that you loved is not to die". d.gough

The week: Finger Cook Sick Stewart Noble

So, the elaboration...................

Last week was an odd one. Elizabeth was bad on the evening of Friday 14th, and as a result me and Lisa were up most of the night (Elizabeth is now back to her self and pestering me as I type). The following morning, whilst stupendously tired, I went to get a newspaper. Upon exiting my own car, felt a searing pain in my left hand. I had managed to shut my own hand in my own car door. My finger was instantly blue. So was my language.

As the day progressed, so did my pain. By Sunday I was in agony and went down to the local small hospital to have my nail drilled! This isn't as nasty as it sounds. Squeezing the blood from my throbbing finger out through the drilled nail hole is fairly bad. But I've endured once. I once saw Curtis Stigers live.

Monday through Wednesday were very painful, but by Wednesday afternoon I didn't feel too bad. It was a good job too as we had 'An Evening with Roger Cook' to look forward to, at the Electric Cinema in Birmingham. We caught a train to Birmingham, entered the cinema and into the world of the Royal Television Society, whom it seemed the entire audience were made up of members from. Roger showed some clips, then he chatted a bit, all exciting tales of run-ins with the IRA etc etc. After the show me and Lisa contemplated asking him for a pic, but I had a brain freeze as he approached me and all I could come up with was a very loud, booming, sharp "MR. COOK............(followed by a very quiet)... I enjoyed that cheers". Lisa tells me that Roger Cook looked scared to death. Only an hour earlier he had been saying how he still has to speak to the special branch weekly due to ongoing threats of harm or death, and there's me booming MR COOK, as if I'm going to follow it with something such as "This is for terry the fraudster you tracked down to Spain and got locked up for a decade" and a swift hammer blow to the head!

So, we left Roger and hit the train home. Whilst on the train we were caught up moaning about Ricky Martin who was on the TV news that is beamed in on the trains TV screens. Subsequently, due to us moaning about the Latino tit, we missed our stop and had to get off one stop away and wait for a train back! It was at this point Nausea kicked in.

Once home, the sickness begun. And carried on. And on. And on. For 30 solid hours, every 20 minutes. Bile. Flem, Pain. Horrible. And then it went, leaving me with slight weight loss and a fluorescent looking toilet pan. It went just in time for Friday, where we went to see Stewart Lee, officially the 41st best stand up ever.

Despite the show being called 41st best stand up ever, a show based around a channel four publicly voted rating show, Stewart Lee is in my regards, one of the top 10 best stand-ups ever. He had me in stitches over his dismantling of the stupidity of Carphone Warehouse's 'press statement' over the racism row in Big Brother, which go against the Carphone Warehouse's 'Values'. Stunningly clever, brilliantly inventive, it was intense thoughtful comedy at it's finest.

Saturday we babysat for my sisters kids, and watched Grindhouse Trailer Classics, a trailer compilation of Grindhouse movies from the 70's with classics such as 'They call her one eye' a revenge film about a girl who, surprisingly, has her eye taken out by a 'baddie'.

Sunday we went to see Ross Noble, Noblelism Live in Liverpool. We saw this in Birmingham. The gig from Liverpool was the worlds first live satellite broadcast of a stand-up gig, and was beamed out to every Vue cinema in the UK. Initially it as a bizarre experience, sitting in the cinema watching the big screen showing a theatre filling up. Then on arrived Ross and it was business as usual. Lightning quick improv that was so fast, and so funny, you cry laughing but can't remember any single thing about it afterwards. Ross broadcast the mobile phone number of a front row audience member so that cinema's could ring in questions which was amusing, like a comedy Eurovision. In fact, by the end of the gig, both myself and Lisa felt that it probably was more amusing watching it in the cinema audience rather than in Liverpool, as it was more novel, and there was less chance of getting our car stereo stolen.


And so, that was the week. It is now Tuesday, I should have written this yesterday but since I'm now unemployed, I feel a duty to be slightly Lazy. Tonight, for some inexplicable reason, I'm off to see the Bloodhound Gang. I'll let you know.


C/x.

My Week

Elaboration to follow.

fingerbang day 2

you will be thankfull to know that my finger is so painful it has been wrapped in a proper gaffa tape badage. It looks a hell of a lot worse than yesterday but i can't photo it as danny has broken my memory card converter. lucky you. typing is a nightmare so off I trot./.....

Fingerbang

Today, for the first time ever, I managed to shut my own finger in the car door. It hurt a bit. Here's a pic. Good job Guitar Hero III isn't out quite just yet. Stay tuned for pics of a more graphic nature when the swelling and puss begins!

Juxtaposition Part Two - Soot (Sunday)

After Saturday’s risqué shenanigans, it was time to take the kids down to Black Country Museum. This confused the hell out of Kirsty as she thought it would be in Black and White. She genuinely thinks that the old days were Black and White. It took some staff five minutes to tell her that was just the capabilities of the camera’s from that era. I still don’t think she’s grasped it. It was a good day, Kirsty loved it. She especially loved being in the old style class for a bit of the old RRR. What’s more we donated our admittance as a Gift Aid donation, which ultimately means that we can go back whenever we want for a whole year, for free!

Juxtaposition Part One - Smut (Saturday)

An amalgamation of styles was the order of the weekend. Saturday was the Adults Only show at Birmingham NIA, whilst on Sunday, I took the kids to the Black Country Museum.

The Adults Only Show was funny in so far as I got to meet lots of plastic looking women from the Adult Industry for some tongue in cheek (and only in cheek) photo’s. The sad thing was the people walking around who were living just to have real photo’s taken with good-looking women, as if they’re creatures from another planet.
Cliché’s apart, most people I met were actually really very pleasant, and the whole event was mainly aimed at couples. Unfortunately, my partner was working so I went with my mate Roy. You’ve not lived unless you’ve been adult toy shopping with another man whilst exclaiming ‘It’s not for us’!
At one point I was asked if I fancied two minutes riding the penis, for a cash prize. Unfortunately I wasn’t in the mood for penis riding today.
Roy also got to meet a hero of his, Ben Dover, a man with a right big one. Mullet that is! (Actually, the mullet has now been cut off). Click pics to enlarge -- one pic has been heavily censored using Skol Lager. Make your own conclusions!

New Production!!

Box Frenzy.